Today's post is not about little bellies - it's about little people. Particularly 3 year old people. "Threenagers" some people call them. Yeah, they can be that bad.
This past week and a half has been one of the toughest stints of my parenting career thus far. Both of my kids and I came down with a truly miserable illness - sore throats, fevers, lots of goop and hacking coughs. As such, Tucker was out of school ALL week last week. I didn't get anything accomplished. We hardly left the house. And, John was traveling most of the week. By the weekend, we had all had about enough of each other.
I could feel my patience wearing thin. Tucker was crying and whining at the drop of a hat. He was asking for things he knew I would say 'no' to just so he could explode at me. He was pushing every one of my buttons, for days on end, and there was nothing either of us could do about it. We were trapped, sick of being sick, and sick of each other.
Today - mercifully - he went back to school. Two hours of peace for me, except that Sawyer is still a goopy, whiny mess. But when Tucker came back home, he started acting up again. By now I have no patience left. I was on the verge of screaming at him, but I didn't. I thought to myself, "he can be so sweet and wonderful. I know he's capable of being a joy. So, why doesn't he just do that instead?"
And then I remembered something I read recently in one of the parenting books piled up next to my bed. A parenting mistake is to have unreasonable expectations of your preschooler. For example, to witness their best behavior and then expect (or demand) it all the time. I stood in the kitchen, took a couple deep breaths, and really thought about this. Thought: what if I turned this logic around on myself?
"You can be the best mom - you're capable of it, I know it. So why don't you just be the best mom all the time? You can be so fun and happy and playful and attentive. Can't you just be like that every minute of every day?"
Well of course not. I would like to be - sure. But that's just not realistic. And it's equally unrealistic to expect a 3 year old to be their best self all the time. It's exhausting being our best. And there's a lot of good excuses - like being sick, tired and worn out - when we're not. Let's try to give our "threenagers" the same grace we expect for ourselves.
Tuesday, February 17, 2015
Wednesday, February 11, 2015
Sneaky Sawyer
Little Bellies has been on a bit of a hiatus because, well, I'm exhausted. After the stomach flu knocked us down like dominoes and we surrendered our Whole30 attempt, we have been fighting things off left and right. Tucker came down with another stomach bug a week later, and then this week he has been home from school all week because of a nasty, nasty cold. Did you get that? All. week. And little dude had a fever today so that means no school tomorrow either. So, not a lot of down time for me.
However, I've been composing this post in my head for the last week, so I thought I'd try to get it down. The other day, I was talking to another mom about Sawyer's food allergies and about halfway through my spiel about what he can't have, I noticed she was looking at me like I had two heads. It seems as though avoiding all food containing milk or soy (in addition to his other allergens) was just ... beyond her. It kind of surprised me in an odd way. I thought - hey wait, what if Sawyer is my trickier kid?
To say that Sawyer is an easy baby is a complete understatement. Sawyer was (surprisingly) easy to conceive, easy to birth, and has been a happy, smiley, easy baby since we brought him home from the hospital. In terms of feeding, I thought nothing could be harder than Tucker. I thought I had seen it all and it would all be downhill from there. And I certainly never imagined that Sawyer would be harder than Tucker in any way.
But he is, in one way. His restrictions are very limiting, especially when it comes to toddler food. (Mac and cheese? Nope! P, B & J? Forget it! Fishy crackers? Never heard of them!) And, on top of that, he is a pickier eater than Tucker was. He's a voracious eater, when he's eating what he likes (bananas). But he's much more prone to sit in his highchair and cry and sign "more" while there is a whole tray of food in front of him (beef and veggie stew).
I started feeling frustrated and guilty that I was not getting enough variety into my already very limited child. But then I decided that, for now, I'm still smarter than him. So I chopped up kale very finely. And I put it in everything I made for dinner - meatballs and mashed sweet potatoes. Kid gobbled them up. Victory!
However, I've been composing this post in my head for the last week, so I thought I'd try to get it down. The other day, I was talking to another mom about Sawyer's food allergies and about halfway through my spiel about what he can't have, I noticed she was looking at me like I had two heads. It seems as though avoiding all food containing milk or soy (in addition to his other allergens) was just ... beyond her. It kind of surprised me in an odd way. I thought - hey wait, what if Sawyer is my trickier kid?
To say that Sawyer is an easy baby is a complete understatement. Sawyer was (surprisingly) easy to conceive, easy to birth, and has been a happy, smiley, easy baby since we brought him home from the hospital. In terms of feeding, I thought nothing could be harder than Tucker. I thought I had seen it all and it would all be downhill from there. And I certainly never imagined that Sawyer would be harder than Tucker in any way.
But he is, in one way. His restrictions are very limiting, especially when it comes to toddler food. (Mac and cheese? Nope! P, B & J? Forget it! Fishy crackers? Never heard of them!) And, on top of that, he is a pickier eater than Tucker was. He's a voracious eater, when he's eating what he likes (bananas). But he's much more prone to sit in his highchair and cry and sign "more" while there is a whole tray of food in front of him (beef and veggie stew).
I started feeling frustrated and guilty that I was not getting enough variety into my already very limited child. But then I decided that, for now, I'm still smarter than him. So I chopped up kale very finely. And I put it in everything I made for dinner - meatballs and mashed sweet potatoes. Kid gobbled them up. Victory!
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